Ugh….

    I have come to realize that I need to change some things about myself. For a while now, I’ve sorta had that feeling that goes along the lines of “WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!” I feel like I have become the worst version of myself. I have pent up tension inside me all the time just waiting for a reason to break free and yell at someone. And most of the time it ends up being my family. Have you ever gotten to that point where you are yelling at your kids and you are wondering why you are yelling at your kids, because in reality they are acting like a typical 2 year old and 1 year old, but you can’t stop yelling because that tension has let loose.  Or you yell at your husband for not putting his socks into the hamper and you can’t help but bring up every nit picky thing that bugs you about him.  I have become mean mom and monster wife, and I hate it. I’ve been trying to figure out for a while now why I have been this way. After much self reflection, I have decided that I am a selfish jerk who needs to realize its not always about me. I need to start reading my scripture more, have more meaningful prayers, go to the Temple more, and I need to realize that everyone else has feelings too! I need to pay attention to the needs of my children instead of focusing on the fact that they just interrupted something I was doing. My husband needs me to be the best supportive wife that he deserves instead of someone that he feels like he has to tip toe around. I know that it is a lot of work to work on, and I can’t do it all at once or else I’m setting myself up for failure. So after much prayer and long conversations with my Heavenly Father and pondering on the things that I need to change. I have come to the conclusion that the first place I need to start is… I need to come closer to my Father in Heaven, I need to feel His presence more in my life in all  aspects. I have a lot of study and prayer and temple attendance ahead of me, along with continuing self evaluation, so I don’t fall back into my old familiar patterns, and if I do this, I KNOW that everything else will fall into place. I know that as I do this my attitude will start to change and I will become the person that I want to be, and that my family needs me to be. I know that my Heavenly Father will help me to be more conscious of the other things and help me to make better decisions as I strive to do what I need to do.  I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to be happy, I am grateful for all that he gives to me everyday, it is time for me to start showing it.  I know that I have a lot ahead of me, and that it wont be immediate results (though it would be nice!) but I am trying, and that’s what matters most.

Christmas Trip.

 

We got to go to California for the week before Christmas.  We weren't planning on going anywhere for Christmas because we didn’t have the funds to do so.  My brother Chad called us up one day and told us that his kids (from is 1st marriage) get to come to stay with him for the week before Christmas, and that if we could get to Salt Lake he would drive us to California and back.  SWEET CHEESE!! Tony and I talked it over and said YES!!!  We spent a couple of days with Tony’s family unfortunatly I didn’t take very many pictures when we were there and the ones that I had I posted in the previous post. My brother Ty and my sister Cis took all of the ones I posted today.

The oldest sibling of us all Ty.

All of the Grand Babies love Grandpa!

Dad ,Chad, and Baby Ayla.

My wonderful Sister in-law Karla.

Snuggling with Grandpa.

My Jayne and my Sister Cissie. No that is not her real name

but that’s a long explanation…

My other wonderful Sister in-law Theresa.

Erinn, Tony, and Me.

Cis and her Wonderful Husband Jason and Liam.

Miss Erinn

Cis, Savannah,and Jillian. They got aprons for Chirstmas.

Tyffton

Triston

The Ginger Bread Cul de sac.

The fun!

It was such a fun trip! We had family pictures taken with a photographer because the first time in years the whole family was together!  I will post those pictures in another post. We did a big Birthday party for Ty and Jayne because their birthday are 2 days apart. Jayne was actually due on Ty’s birthday but she came 2 days early. The day that we did our “Christmas” with  the Bowman’s we did family photos then opened presents, we sent the kids out side to play, got ready for the feast, ate, cleaned up, vegged out, and then Ginger bread houses. it was so much fun.

With Tony’s family We all got together at his sister Colleen’s house and did Christmas there. We had a pizza party and lots of yummy desert, Opened presents. The kids had fun playing with each other and playing with their presents. All of us mom’s left the kids with the dad’s and we went to walmart to pick of a few things we needed. It was fun to visit with everyone. We enjoyed our trip dispite the loooooooong car ride. We are so glad that we got to come.

Thank you Chad and Theresa for driving us. We very much appreciate it. We love you miss you all.

Jayne’s 1st Birthday.

 

Jayne is 1 !!!!! I know every mom says this, but…. Time sure does fly! She had 2 birthday parties one with Tony’s family and one with mine. Jayne enjoyed her first cake, but would hardly touch her second cake. We tried to shove her hands into it, but she freaked out! She crawled over to me,  and as soon as I picked her up….. the older kids attacked like a pack of wolves on the cake! I didn’t even have time to say anything… it was Gone! Good thing I thought it was funny! It was pretty entertaining at how fast that cake disappeared.  Jayne had fun splashing in the sink while her cake became nonexistent.  I know the cake isn’t that pretty but my mom and I had and our to decorate 2 cakes one for Jayne and one for my brother Ty. so that’s as good as it gets!

I love how my sister caught the splash!

The Lovely aftermath of the cake….

Jayne had fun opening her presents, annnd she actually helped!!!

Family Photos

 

We have been blessed with photography kindness once again. The first time was when Erinn was 5 months old we were given a free photo shoot, all because this lady thought that  Erinn was such an adorable baby. She went home and told her husband that he just had to give us a free photo shoot. I was so happy and felt so blessed, the Lord knew that I wanted  to get Erinn baby photos but didn’t have the money and BOOM I was placed at the right place at the right time.  This time our photography blessing came through a friend. Tony knew Erica when they were teenagers and she friended us on Facebook a while back. I knew she was a photographer and would look through her photographs here and there and always thought they were very nice.  One day I get a message from Erica on Facebook telling me that  she thinks our little girls are soooooo cute and that she would love to do family photo’s for us and free of charge of course!!. YES PLEASE!! I was so excited I immediately responded with YES!  I had been telling Tony that I had been wanting to get family pictures done because “we have been married for 4 years and haven’t done it”.  So when Erica messaged me, it was like the Lord was giving me a tender mercy again. Erica and her husband Nick were so much fun to work with when getting our pictures taken. They came prepared with candy for bribing Erinn into smiling pretty for the camera (Erinn has decided that taking picture is uncool). They all turned out very nice. So here are a few of my favorite.

Thank you so much Erica and Nick you did an amazing job. We very much appreciate your kindness. You can Check out their website Here.

Ps. I did not by choice cut Erinn’s bangs like that. I left out my sewing scissors and she got ahold of them and cut her own bangs so I had to even them our.

Halloween And the Making of Things 1-4.

OOPS!!!

So today I went to add a friend to my blog list that I follow, and I managed to delete ALL of my list. So I had to figure out how to put that list back where it belongs on my blog, and then try to remember everyone on my blog list. So if you happen to read my blog and notice that you are not there anymore, let me know and I will add you. Sorry its really hard to remember everyone.

Being Crafty!

 

Thank you Beth for telling me about Windows live writer.

So I found this super  shirt at Gymboree, I was going to post a picture of it but I was having issues trying to post it so I gave up. The shirt was this super cute white shirt with a embroidered heart on it and it had buttons sewed into the middle of it. I really wanted to buy this shirt, but I couldn’t justify $12. so I just let it go. Well my friend Emma and I went to Target shortly after, and they had a bunch of super cute shirt for $6 and I got a bunch and then they had this cute plain shirt for $4 and I thought that I could recreate the shirt from Gymboree! so I got the shirt. Then I went to the local craft store and rummaged through their button bin and got a bunch of buttons for $ .99.

My friend Emma printed out a heart shape for me. I cut it out and traced the shape onto the shirt. I busted out my embroidery hoop and went to town on this shirt.

I remember part way through that I should take some documenting pictures because I knew I wanted to share with you.

Some of the cute buttons.

My finished product! And for $5 instead of $12!! Can’t beat that!

I tried to get a picture of it on Erinn, but she has decided that picture’s taking isn’t cool anymore and wont let me take any of her right now. so sorry it’s not being modeled.